These people are trained to handle this kind of situation and should be able to help you make sure your friend stays safe. If the person is hurt badly, call an ambulance dial , if you live in Australia immediately. Supporting a friend who self-harms can be challenging.
Often the reasons why someone self-harms are complex, and managing these reasons needs help from someone like a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor. Once support is in place, your job is to continue being a friend: show support, keep doing the things you enjoy doing together, and let your friend know that you accept them for who they are.
Be open and show them you care: direct them to self-help for self-harm for strategies they can use. If things start to become overwhelming, it might help to take some time out. It's not always easy to find the right place to start. Our 'What's on your mind? What is self-harm? How do I tell if my friend is engaging in self-harm?
People can feel ashamed about self-harming. Everybody is different and what works for someone else may not work for you. Try different things. Whatever you choose give yourself time, as it may take a while for things to improve. You can think about telling your friends and family that you are trying to stop or reduce your self-harm. You can let them know if there is anything that they can do to support you. You may self-harm straight away when you are distressed. You can try to delay your self-harm.
With this technique, you might not self-harm as badly, as often or at all. This may work because often people react to difficult feelings quickly by self-harming. Give yourself an aim. You can gradually increase the amount of time you wait before selfharming. This might lead to you not self-harming at all. Talk to someone who understands. This could be a friend, a relative or another person who self-harms. There may be a local support group you can join or a helpline you can ring.
You might self-harm for several reasons. You can decide on what techniques work for you best. The NHS make free self-help guide you can use to help you. Here is the link: www. The app is not an aid to treatment.
Here is the link to download the app: www. This app is to help give people easy and discreet access to information and advice about selfharm and suicidal thoughts. There is always risk with self-harm. But you might want to lower the physical damage you do when you self-harm.
This is called harm-reduction. There are some suggestions below. You may have scars from your self-harm. You may feel embarrassed, ashamed or feel guilty about your scars.
Accepting your scars can be an important part of recovery. This can take time. If people see your scars they might ask what happened. They may not realise that you have self-harmed.
You might deal with things differently depending on who asks you. Be honest You may want to tell people that your scars were caused by self-harm. You can tell them as much or as little as you want. You could think about some responses you are happy with. There are ways you can treat and disguise scars if you want to. Most scars will fade over time but will never disappear.
Not all of these will suit every type of scar. You can talk to your doctor about your scars and how to deal with them. Keep fresh injuries clean and infection free. Good first aid or care for your wound can reduce scarring. You may be feeling all sorts of different things if someone you know selfharms. Here are some tips on how to deal with the situation and support the person you care about. Self-harm is the way the person you care for deals with their distress. Be honest with yourself about how the self-harm makes you feel.
It is ok to feel whatever you feel. You may feel frightened, uncomfortable and provoked. Take time to process your feelings around your relative selfharming. Try not to react to stressful or emotional situations with anger or blame. If your relative wants to talk to you about their self-harm the main thing to do is listen to them. You can ask them what help they want. You may have a better understanding of what the person is going through if you educate yourself.
You could contact mental health and self-harm charities for information. Or read books or join a support group. Tell them you care for them if they self-harm or not.
If possible, make sure they have a safe place. Be as available as you can be. Set aside your personal feelings about self-harm and focus on what's going on for them. Be honest and realistic about what you can and can't do. Offer the person support if you think that you can help with something. You may think about removing sharp objects or pills from the house. This can be an option if the person feels suicidal and you need to do something in a crisis.
At other times this may not be helpful as for many self-harm is a coping technique. It is likely to make them feel more alone. Accepting and understanding that someone is in pain doesn't make the pain go away.
But it can make it more bearable for them to know that someone understands. Be hopeful about the possibilities of finding other ways of coping rather than self-harm. If they are willing, discuss possibilities for treatment with them. They will decide when they feel the time is right.
Be patient. You might find it difficult if the person rejects you at first, but they may need time to build trust. Take care of yourself. Don't be afraid to take a break. If you are a carer, friend or relative of someone who self-harms, you can get support. You can use online forums, support groups and telephone support services. Support groups for friends and family of people with mental health problems may be useful. While they may not only focus on selfharm, group members will understand how a caring role can affect you.
Look in our Useful Contacts section below for contact details of some helpful services or search on the Carers Trust website:. It explains what they found about why people self-harm and ways to support people.
You can download it from their website. Website : www. You can download it for free from their website. DBT self-help The website has been created by people who have been through dialectical behavioural therapy DBT rather than by health professionals.
The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-inflicted Violence — by Jan Sutton This is a book that has new research, statistics, diagrams, some resources, case studies and practical self-help activities. She writes about what helped her distract herself and overcome her self-harming behaviour.
National Self-harm Network An online forum where you can chat with other people affected by self-harm. Self-Injury Support Offers a helpline service for women of any age who self-harm, as well as text and email services for women under Telephone : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm Text : Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday 7pm — pm. Email: tessmail selfinjurysupport. They have information, support forums. Telephone : Website : www.
They provide advice, support and psychosocial services to children, young people and adults. Open 10am-4pm Monday to Friday. Email : www. Shout can help with urgent issues such as suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges. Text : Text Shout to Recover Your Life This is an online forum that is run by and for people who self-harm. They have information and advice about different issues. The Samaritans This is a listening service for anyone in distress including people who self-harm.
Volunteers offer a listening service, along with coping strategies and signposting. Telephone : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Text : - 5pm to 10pm every night of the year. Webchat : see website: www. Self-Harm Service This is an NHS national treatment service for people who self-harm a lot and have problems with their relationships with other people. But the service will only accept you as a patient if you meet their eligibility criteria.
You should also ask your GP if your local trust has any self-harm services or look on the trust website. Donate Search Menu. About us About us. See our contacts page Looking to contact us? Covid support. Supporting yourself Read more Supporting yourself. Covid information hub See all pages Covid information hub. Help in your area. Find peer support online Visit the Clic website Find peer support online. Advice and information.
Contact our advice service today Need more information? Get involved. Become a campaigner Sign up today Become a campaigner. Get help now. Advice and information About mental illness Learn more about symptoms Self-harm. Self-harm This section looks at what self-harm is and why you may self-harm.
If you would like more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service by clicking here. Download Self-harm factsheet. Share: Contact us:. Overview Self-harm is harming yourself on purpose. Such as by scratching, cutting, overdosing on medication, biting or burning.
You may self-harm because you find it difficult to cope with your moods or how you feel. Everyone has their own reasons for selfharming. Drinking a lot of alcohol or taking drugs may increase your risk of self-harm.
You are more at risk of death if you self-harm because of accidental suicide. Your doctor can help if you want to stop self-harming. They might refer you for specialist support. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help you selfharm less and make you feel less alone.
It can be hard to know how to support someone who self-harms. Being patient and learning about why people self-harm can help. Need more advice? If you need more advice or information you can contact our Advice and Information Service.
Contact us Contact us. About What is self-harm? People self-harm in different ways such as the following. Who self-harms? You are more likely to self-harm if you: have a mental health issue such as: depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, or an eating disorder, have a substance abuse issue, are female, are a young person, are in prison, are an asylum seeker, are a veteran of the armed forces, are gay, lesbian or bisexual, have lost a loved one through suicide, or are a survivor of physical, emotional or sexual abuse as a child or as an adult.
Why do I self-harm? These reasons may change over time. You may self-harm to manage feelings Being overwhelmed by feelings is a common reason that people selfharm. You may self-harm to communicate You may self-harm to try and show others how you feel. You may self-harm to have control Self-harm can be a way of feeling in control of your body or your environment.
You may self-harm to punish yourself You may self-harm to punish yourself for feelings or behaviours that you think are your fault. The method and ways someone self-injures themselves can vary, which can sometimes make it difficult to recognize.
Srivathsal said. However, some people may self-harm and then feel suicidal, as self-harm is an important risk factor for suicide. The more a person engages in self-harm the less inhibited they get towards future self-harm behaviors, and ultimately suicide.
This is why self-harming should always be taken seriously. Self-harming can occur at any age and may even be difficult to pinpoint. It is most common among adolescents and young adults, and it is prevalent at equal rates in men and women.
Here are some of the red flags to look out for:. Srivathsal shared these recommendations:. Treating a self-injury behavior takes time and hard work. But, with the right support, recovery is possible.
If you or a loved one needs help coping, Banner Health offers education and support resources. Learning about self-harm behaviors, triggers and treatment as well as talking to others who've gone through what you're going through can help. Banner Behavioral Health has counselors, therapists and support groups for patients and parents, family members or friends of people who self-injure.
You can also call the SAFE Alternative information line at for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at By Regan Olsson , Contributing Writer. Aug 10, Teach Me.
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